My depression

My depression got the better of me yesterday. I spent a few hours off and on in tears. So many things have overwhelmed me in the last couple of weeks.

It's weird. I couldn't understand why I suddenly felt like crying since last Sunday. Then yesterday that asshole I'm married to was watching cat videos on YouTube. I realized one of the major issues this year is I miss my boy.

He was my soulmate for sure. I began crying and went to the bathroom. The husband doesn't care and didn't even notice. 

That's another issue. Being alone all the time. Ignored like a sofa. Unless he needs to sit his ass down, I don't exist. I have been formulating a plan for a year to get out of this relationship.

Plus just a whole bunch of little things adding up on top of me throwing out a vertibrae in my neck 2 days ago. So lots of physical pain to top it all off.

Depression is strange. I can pretend it isn't there. I'm good at stuffing my emotions into a hole, deep, deep inside me. But eventually they escape my control. 

So today it's a morning of music.